It's Final...

As of Wednesday at about 2:45, I am officially divorced...still not sure if I feel relieved to have it over with or not. Lots and lots of stuff in my head. Not all of it can be put down in words.
Kids are good. Nothing new to talk about there. Just trying to get my mind wrapped around things and figure life out one day at a time.

Frustrated is an Understatement...

This whole week, heck make that this whole month, has been frustrating and long and just one of those weeks/months that make me wanna scream and pull hair out. Between the ex and the kids and the man in my life...I swear life is out to get me! Get done with a bout of pneumonia and 2 kids having bronchitis and they both still have a nagging cough and 1 still keeps running fevers...
The ex keeps making things all about the "us" that used to be and how he wants me to come to my senses and get back together with him...after telling me that he's trying to get with this girl. I wish him luck, he thinks I want him back, but honestly after almost 7 months I've moved on more than he has obviously.
The guy I'm seeing...another interesting story...maybe another time :) but at least most of the time we're on the same page and he makes me smile.

I keep having interesting dreams about my childhood and remembering things that I haven't thought of for years...an eye opening experience for sure, but not always a bad thing.
Still trying to get to the point where I write every day, but sometimes I just don't have the words to express things. Hoping this gets easier...

Been an Up and Down Week....

It's been kinda crazy around here this week, at least emotionally. I've been up and down on this crazy emotional rollercoaster, and of course it's not been made any easier by the hormonal changes @ this particular time of the month. Going back and forth on so many things.
Other than that, it hasn't been too bad. We had our first snowfall of the season today. I have 2 court dates for the divorce and child support and whatever else they wanna throw at me. I have my youngest staying with me tonight, even though it's dad's week, and thankfully dad is willing to help make his transition easier. He stays with me usually at least 1 or 2 days during dad's week. It helps him to know that no matter what I'm still here and he can still be with me.
Have Caitlin's IEP tomorrow, so I probably won't get to see Gabe since Grandma's gonna get him off the bus, so tonight will partially make up for that. It's gonna be a busy couple of weeks...between now and December 16, I have 2 IEP meetings, an SSI appointment, Thanksgiving, helping mom and my sister move and TWO court dates. WOW...the fun part is making sure I have the gas to do what I need to get done.
At least I have all the bills paid for the month.

Last night Chad and I sat and talked for a good while, and just tried to feel some things out as far as my feelings towards my soon-to-be ex. It's weird to me to feel the way I do sometimes. But it really does help knowing that he at least somewhat understands. I just keep feeling like this is only going to last so long and then I'll be back in the same emotional boat I was in before...
On a positive note, all the kids are getting along and no fighting :) yay me!